Logan is a Miracle from the Lord above. After reading his story I think you will agree. Logan was born at 25 weeks gestation. He weighed only 11ounces (329grams) and was just 9 -3/4 inches long.
I developed preeclampsia at 24 weeks. By 25 weeks my blood pressure was so high and I was very sick. My doctor decided I had to deliver my baby. (The only cure for preeclampsia is delivery) So I was airvacced to UAMS in Little Rock. There I underwent an emergency c-section with in 30min of my arrival. Our sweet tiny tiny little Logan Grant was here 15 weeks early. And was a VERY sick little guy.
The next several weeks ahead of us were very difficult on our family. I surrendered to God. I remember saying to the Lord... It's your will! You are the only one who can help this tiny sick baby. I give him to you and will accept whatever you choose. I was at the weakest point in my life that I have ever been. I was so sick and my baby was even sicker. God was the only one powerful enough to get us though this situation. If God chose to take Logan it would be so hard but he knew what was best. Putting my trust him to get us through whatever was what I was going to do. I had peace knowing God was with us. (If only my faith was always this strong!)
19 Weeks and 3 days later with LOTS of prayers and LOTS of ups and downs. At 3 lbs.14oz. Logan was able to come home from the hospital. He came home on O2 monitors and very long road ahead of us. But we were so thankful to be home and even better with our little miracle. We knew Logan had brain bleeds and vision problems (rop). At that point the doctors couldn't tell us what kind of disabilities Logan may have from the damage on his brain. We had to just wait and watch his development. Once again we had to just pray and give it to the Lord. Remember it's HIS will and not what we think want! God truly knows what is best for our life. As time went on we watched Logan fall further and further behind. Knowing he had disabilities we wondered would he even know who we were? Would he be able to ever sit up, hold a toy, crawl, talk (say mommy I love you) walk? Only God knew and we had to put full trust in him.
I make it sound like it's always an easy thing to do... but it is not always like that for me. I have had many times where I haven't trusted the Lord with the hard situation we are facing. These last 6 years I have went through lots of ups and downs. I haven't ever blamed God or said why me, but I have had LOTS of stress and anxiety. If I would just keep my eye on the Lord and REMEMBER if he brings me to it he will pull me through it. He really is always here to help. We just have to pray and release ourselves to him with every new day and situation! If only I would always apply this lesson...
As Logan got older he started having more and more oral motor problems and severe reflux. For him to suck a bottle it got more and more difficult. He would throw up what he would eat. He wasn't able to get the nutrition he needed. His weight was falling more and more off the charts. We would go to doctors appointments and hear the words failure to thrive. They suggested putting a feeding tube in his tummy. We waited and tried tried to get Logan to eat enough. We were feeding him every 3 hours day and night and adding extra calories. I prayed and prayed! It still wasn't working. My family would tell me that I just wasn't feeding him enough and DID NOT agree with the idea of a feeding tube. This was yet another very big challenge for us to face. I prayed and prayed for God to help. I felt very alone & didn't understand. I really was doing all that I knew to do. I felt like a failure as a mommy. We fought it but Logan was suffering. So we gave in and had the feeding tube put in. They also did a Nissin to help with Logan's reflux.
As all this was going on with Logan we were living with my parents. John and I were in the process of building a house. My dad is a contractor. Him and John would work on our house the evenings. It took us a VERY LONG 10 months to build. If you have ever built a house you would know that is enough stress to make someone CRAZY!Anyway at this point in my life I was just asking God... WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? It had to be me. EVERYTHING seemed to be so hard!
I will have to continue this story later.